Saturday, August 8, 2009

life.... it's not really a box of chocolates....

it's a whirlwind of a roller coaster that you've never been on before and you can't see what's ahead because you are wearing blinders!

This is how I've felt lately. I have very little control over my life and even less of a vision as to where my life is going from here. I'm pretty sure I'm on the right track, that is assuming I have a choice of more than one track. But what if I don't? What if I have no choice but to ride this track until it ends or I fly off into oblivion? I know I want to be here, with my family and friends. But why does it all have to be so hard? Am I destined to be someone who never quite gets all that I want? Am I destined to live a life that is just a bit less than I want for myself and my family? I go from being all pumped up that things are gonna go my way, then I get thrown off track once again, a bump in the framework that i took going just a bit too fast perhaps. What then? Am I then on a different track, one that isnt meant for me? How do I get back to where I'm supposed to be? But then, maybe I am where I'm supposed to be, and the original track wasn't mine at all?

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